HBP: How did Harry not realize the hand writing in...
#because Harry’s a stupid bitch that’s why #For the main character of such a good book series #He really is a dumbshit #Ooh what is this long skinny broomstick shaped package? #ITS A BROOMSTICK NO WAY #Slytherin house is a snake #heir of slytherin can talk to snakes #HMM I WONDER WHAT’S IN THE FUCKING CHAMBER OF SECRETS #MAYBE IT’S A FUCKING CHIHUAHUA #see this is why he’s not in...
girlynekoboi: nordicunicorn: candyp0p: uncomfortablechair: vicsagod: exceldamage: fullmetal-dipshit: the-nicest-asshole: UK grading system 75-100 A+ 70-74 A 64-69 A- 60-63 B+ 55-59 B 50-54 B- 46-49 C+ 43-45 C 38-42 C- 35-37 D 0-34 Time to move to the UK Dude I would kill for that grading scale wait, so what is it in america then? 100 A+ 95 A 90 A- 86-89 B+ ...
tastyboots: motoroladroid: what if there was a popular tv show that had a gay character whose entire personality and plot wasn’t based on the fact that they’re gay Then you probably wouldn’t know. Conservation of detail says that anything that isn’t important to the character’s personality, the plot of the day, or a joke won’t be touched on, so unless it’s a...
This is for you, crazy Athens kids. 7th place… not too shabby. Sure, Athens hadn’t placed in that many events, and she wouldn’t be going to nationals, but 7th place is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, she had gotten medals in 4 events. And broken up the eight schools from the southeast region - who would have swept the top eight spots in the competition otherwise. No, 7th...
goldenfreezeover: somethingambiguous: tltty: when I’m old, kids will think I’m so ancient because it’s like ‘Holy shit you were born in the nineteen hundreds’ We’ll be the last humans to be born in a year beginning with “1” The class of 10018 would like a word.
remembersoufflegirl: pourituppppp: My boyfriend’s younger brother is named Islam and some kid at his school was like ‘why are you named after a religion?’ but this kid was named Christian so like… It’s only a matter of time before “Class, we have a new student. This is Satanism.” Hold on now, Christian had a point. Islam is the name of a religion, while Christian refers to a member of a...
suspu: if you still say ‘it’s adam and eve, not adam and steve’ as an argument against gay marriage you need to adam and leave I was walking to my Sociology class today in school and some douchebags behind me were saying this and laughing. Once I got to class, I started thinking, “What if it really was Adam and Steve?” Be on the lookout for my new book, the Bro-ble.
loser-baby: Why are “naturally thin” and “born with a fast metabolism” totally acceptable explanations for weight, but “naturally fat” and “born with a slow metabolism” seen as “excuses” for “laziness/irresponsibility/greediness”? Answer: ignorance, fat stigma and discrimination. Better answer: Because people actually do use them as excuses for laziness and irresponsibility and ruin it for...
fiestyred: adorability: acidpunch: what if u woke up tomorrow and it was the first day of seventh grade and everythings that happened since then was just a dream I don’t know if I would like that. Hello straight A’s. Even more straight A’s, I mean.
Overly Honest Methods
imboredsillyletsfondue: As a grad student, and a scientist, I found these to be hysterical……and frighteningly accurate!!!!! Ladies and gentlemen, this is science.
how hard is it
thebakkat: to find a goddamn transparent png of fucking imperialdramon. I thought there was a big enough digimon fanbase that this could be a thing but all i see are shitty jpegs Digimon is the great disappointment. You’d think the fandom is big enough for lots of stuff, but it’s usually really tough to find…
mr-radical: to pay off tom nook you have to sell things to tom nook and tom nook gives you money which you then give to tom nook It’s like post-WWI reparations. We gave loans to Germany so they could pay reparations to the other European nations so they could pay off their debt to us so we could loan Germany more money…
lynzave: geezjenner: lynzave: I’m legitimately amazed at the fact that women can actually grow a person in their uterus without even trying and then the people CRAWL OUT OF THEIR VAGINA COVERED IN ECTOPLASM AND NO ONE EVEN TRIES TO KILL IT LIKE THAT’S A COMPLETELY NORMAL OCCURRENCE FOR US I don’t think the person writing this realizes that they crawled out of a uterus once I was a C...
Okay, Now I'm curious. Reblog if you had heard of...
thegamertwin: kittykimber: kyriene: themanwhobeatyou: funismycenter: My friend hadn’t heard of him before the movie, and I’m quite shocked. So now I wanna know how many people knew at least the basics of who he is before ROTG came to be. There are people out there who hadn’t? Kids these days. totally not a mainstream version but this fairy tale… and this guy, too: ...
privtla: xiuflake: aquus: pizzaforpresident: paradisaic: rradglare: what if everyone suddenly had to blog in their first language ou te taliaina lena j’aimerais mieux ne pas mcdonalds pizza hut shitty public education maple syrup snow beavers eh NEIN Goo goo ga ga?
aikomaru: if school taught everyone that rape is bad and racism is bad instead of teaching how to find the angle of a kite im pretty sure the world would be a safer place Because everybody is such a good student, right?
ne-yo: justanotherskyscraper: ne-yo: I hate it when kids raise their hands during tests and say “On Number 6 it says “and” twice.” Like shut the fuck up you know what it means you ocean of cum ^ I’m that kid, and proud of it. If I threw you down a staircase and I showed a jury what you just added to my post they would not convict me The type of person who gets pleasure from pointing...
angel-kink: steviecass: What if I summoned a crossroads demon and made a deal to live forever, or go to heaven when I died did I break the system, do i get devoured on the spot, does the demon’s head explode or something do I get my deal You go to heaven when you die and then they kick you out for making a deal with a demon, come on.
Since apparently I can’t submit this directly to my girlfriend’s blog, I’ll just have to leave this here.
swim-two-birds: If you’ve never read Shakespeare’s plays, you’re missing out on some quality zingers. I love-hate whoever published this edition of the play. “Oh god do you think modern audiences will understand a ‘your mom’ joke nope better put a footnote.”
literally-heads-above-the-rest: fforestt: i hope one day you find someone who makes flowers grow in even the saddest parts of you this is possibly the most hopeful thing i’ve ever read Why would you want that? Can you imagine how painful flowers growing inside of you would be?
Going to see Avenue Q in April
numbah-pi: Words can not explain how exited I am! I don’t want to make you even more excited, but Avenue Q is basically the perfect mixture of hilarity and poignant life lessons, and is even better watching it in person. You’re going to enjoy it!
intr0-verted: BEYONCE’S HALFTIME SHOW IS ON AT THE SAME TIME AS RUGRATS IN PARIS WHAT DO I DO DVRs are a wonderful thing. Rugrats is waiting to be watched tomorrow!
gentle-downpour: Excellent use of “Don’t Fear the Reaper” in Supernatural episode “Faith” Because not every use of “Don’t Fear the Reaper” is amazing?
videohall: Parrot sings Gangnam Style Fun fact: Parrots are one of the few animals able to detect a steady beat under an irregular rhythm. Monkeys aren’t one of them. Some scientists believe it’s because parrots have a decent ability to imitate sounds, as do the other animals that have this ability.